Becoming a School Mum…


I’ve been a school mum for two weeks now and whilst I have shared with you our time before school and Alice’s first day. I haven’t talked about what it’s like for me to become a school mum.

I will be honest and say that this has worried me a lot. I know that my little Alice will happily skip into school every single day, that is the little girl that she is and so far that is exactly what has happened. I know that it won’t be long before she comes home with stories to tell me about the friends that she has played with that day.

We choose a school that was perfect for Alice, but also a school that she would not know anyone in her school year. But that didn’t worry us, she takes after her daddy and is a lovely confident, chatty little girl.

Whereas I am the opposite, I am not confident in these situations, I worry about fitting in and having to make conversations with new people. It has kept me awake at night since we found out which school Alice was going to, it felt so final then and I knew I could no longer pretend it wasn’t happening.

I worry that my social awkwardness will affect Alice, I worry that everyone will already know each other from the preschool the children went to. That they won’t be interested in talking to me.

At preschool I never felt this pressure, parents would just drop off and go. There was this sense that the children wouldn’t be going there for long and the need to fit in wasn’t there. But with school its not just Alice that joins, its the whole family. We will be going to this school for many years and Holly will hopefully be following in her footsteps.

How do you break the ice? How to take those steps from a smile or a ‘good morning’? These are questions I ask myself all the time. I was exactly the same at baby groups, and in the end I would just not go to them. I had a choice then, I don’t now.

It would seem I am not alone, I have spoken to a few mum’s whose children have not started school yet and they feel the same. They have the same worries about making friends and fitting in. But, I have also chatted to some mum’s who are not bothered if they don’t speak to anyone, that its not important to them to make friends at the school gate.

It would appear that everyone approaches the school mum life differently. I am definitely the type of person that wants to meet other mums, to be able to chat at the school gate and go to the park at the end of school day.

For the two weeks that I’ve been going I have gone with a smile on my face, saying hello to anyone that catches my eye and making an effort to appear friendly. I have left my ‘don’t talk to me face’, at home!

I know it won’t happen overnight, that everyone won’t instantly be chatty and that these things take time. But what I do hope is that when I get to the end of the school year, I can share with you that I was worrying over nothing. That I’ve managed to nail being a school mum and that I’ve met some lovely people that I chat to at the school gate and maybe even call them a friend…

Are you a school mum? Did you have these worries when your child started school? Or, is it not something that you even think about?

I would love to hear your stories of becoming a school mum and if you have any advice for a newbie!

Laura x


Pick N Mix Fridays

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  1. September 23, 2016 / 07:27

    It seems funny that it’s the parents who would struggle most with starting school but I’m sure it’s easily common! I hope they are nice to you and befriend you (before you have start stalking them) 😉 #picknmix

  2. September 23, 2016 / 07:32

    My eldest will be starting next September and we’re not sure where he’ll be going, the schools around us are so oversubscribed, it is a worry. There is supposed to be a new school being built, but the final stipulations have yet to be met… I think i’m personally in the ‘i don’t need to make friends with these people’ camp, but then, your kid might make friends with their kid… and you don’t want to be stuck staring at your shoes every drop off/pick up time i guess… Let us know how it goes! xx #picnmix
    Claire recently posted…Our RoutineMy Profile

  3. September 23, 2016 / 08:46

    I think everyone is probably feeling the same as you! It’s awkward and I’m sure you’ll all be chatting in no time.

  4. September 23, 2016 / 12:08

    I’m like you in this – I really do want to make more mum friends, to be able to chat when you’re at pickup, and arrange play dates outside of school. But like you I’m pretty shy and instigating those friendships is hard. It sounds like you’re doing really well so far though (I also have a ‘don’t talk to me’ face!) and I hope you get some good tips here in the comments. #picnmix
    Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…The Best Instagram Hashtags for Parent BloggersMy Profile

  5. September 23, 2016 / 12:17

    It can feel a little like going back to school yourself but you get used to it and as in any other walk of life you will find those you gel with and those that you just don’t. It gets easier. You are certainly not alone. #picknmix

  6. September 23, 2016 / 12:34

    I wish we were in the same playground – I’d come running over!! I’m on my last year of primary school now so it is almost all behind me. Don’t worry about rushing it – you have loads of time. You will end up chatting to the parents of the children that your little one has befriended. Loads of other Mums and Dads will be feeling the same! #PicknMix
    Sharon Parry recently posted…Ten things you shouldn’t do when your kid leaves for universityMy Profile

  7. September 23, 2016 / 13:53

    I was lucky I knew a lot of the mums from pre school but the mums I do not know we all smile. Glad it’s gone so well for you #picknmix

  8. September 23, 2016 / 18:01

    You get to know the other parents a lot better once the birthday parties start, or once they have a best friend that they want to come over and play. You’ve doing the right thing so far though just smile, look approachable and it’ll come 🙂

    Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix

    Stevie xx
    A Cornish Mum recently posted…23/09 Pick ‘n Mix Fridays Blog LinkyMy Profile

  9. September 23, 2016 / 23:16

    Oh I do hope you manage to feel more confident about the school run and make some friends soon. I haven’t spoken to anybody at school yet but I’m not that sort of person, I’m happy enough in my ignorant little bubble 😉
    Plutonium Sox recently posted…Managing everyday parenting stressMy Profile

  10. September 23, 2016 / 23:18

    I was lucky because I already had family and friends with kids at the school as well as a few with kids starting at the same time as N. We did a reception mums meal which was good, and the school had several evening social events/fund raising with teams, so itwas a good way of getting to know some people.

    I find it hard because N is in morning club 3 days a week so I don’t see anyone then. And I only do one pick up ona Friday. SO it’s hard to speak to people. But generally I just say hello, and most will chat. Just get in quick before everyone gets in their groups. Although birthday parties help – because most of the mums stay at those, so that’s really the only time I get to see the mums.

    Now it’s harder because the year 1s are split, and we collect from different doors, so I don’t really get to see most of the year 1 mums, only the 6 in N’s class…and most of those are never picking up on time!

  11. September 24, 2016 / 17:55

    I feel exactly the same. I always feel awkward if I’m waiting for Ava at the school gates and almost breath a sigh of relief if there’s a parent I know to talk to! Luckily Ava is much like your Alice and is loving school. #picknmix

  12. September 26, 2016 / 20:46

    Ah lovely this was me last year although I think I was worried about it on Meme’s behalf as she is quiet and shy and didn’t know anybody so I really made the effort in order to arrange playdates in the holidays etc.

    You will get there lovely, bigger smile make small talk and step out of your comfort zone – remember the majority of mums feel exactly the same. Good luck #picnmix
    Natalie recently posted…A Special Kind of WeekendMy Profile

  13. September 26, 2016 / 22:02

    I definitely have a ‘don’t talk to me’ face and I think I accidently wear it all the time.. oops! I am terrible at being sociable and although I’m not a school mum obviously, I feel so much pressure to go to home ed groups and not have people think I’m a weirdo. Mabel’s whole social life now depends on me not being so completely awkward so I’m giving it my best shot! Haha xx
    Louise | Squished Blueberries recently posted…To My Daughters… If They Become MothersMy Profile

  14. September 27, 2016 / 18:10

    You will find that over time the parents at your pick up become like a team? You work together in the wet weather to keep dry, you keep each others little ones entertained on the cold days and you celebrate the good times together.
    RachelSwirl recently posted…#TuesdayTreasures 27/09/2016My Profile

  15. September 28, 2016 / 19:30

    It’s definitely hard to start, then there are birthday parties, open evenings, school events and you all eventually get chatting. I know some mums set up a Facebook page invite everyone and organise nights out, sounds good to me. Thanks for linking to #picknmix
    Eilidh x
    Mummyandmonkeys recently posted…When is colic something more? Signs of refluxMy Profile

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