A Day In The Life Of…Not An Effing Fairytale

I’m back with another A Day In The Life Of… It’s a chance for other bloggers to share what a typical day looks like for them. I’m proper nosey and I love to see what people get up to in their day. It’s also a great chance for you to find some more blogs that you might like to follow…

Today we have Cookie Kibbles from Not An Effing Fairytale, who sadly isn’t a princess!

Let’s see what a typical day looks like for her…

07.00: “Christ, why does the alarm have to be so loud?”
07.02: “BLOODY HELL. I’ll turn it off myself then, shall I?”
07.03: “Oh shit, I had better check what text messages and twitter DM’s I sent after all that wine last night…..oh, thank God. I didn’t tell anyone I loved them or hated them or that I wanted to shag them. Now to read the daily mail online and see what Kim and Kanye have been up to”
07.30: <pokes the toddler> “Is she going to wake up, ever? Oh, that’s right, she was up until midnight again because of the extra long nap I accidentally let her have. Better scream at the teenager to get out of bed and get to school” <screams at teenager>
08.00: “I wonder if the fairies have been in over night and cleaned the kitchen…..Oh, no. Still a shit hole. Best clean up and make these ungrateful children the breakfasts they never eat”
09.00:  “Come on, let’s got to toddler group so I can sit and drink luke warm tea while you constantly scream that you want to go home.”
10.00: “Oh look, other parents are giving me dirty looks because I am on my third red bull of the morning and I am bribing you with Monster Munch so you will share nicely and not bite anyone”
11.00: “Right, an hour and a half in peace while the child naps. I will write. I will write the best blog post ever. It will be Mumsnet blog of the day and I will get 50 shares on Twitter and be invited to talk about it on this morning”

12.00: “This blog post is crap. Lunch. God, I want a KFC bucket. I’ll have a salad. I wish I was thin”

13.00: “Blog post done. It’s not awful, but not great. What am I doing this for anyway? I only had ten views last week”

14.00: “Oh shit, the toddler! Wake up! Eat some food! No, don’t just smash it into the carpet! Christ’s sake. Oh crap, you are going to be up all bloody night now, aren’t you? Right, park. Run round, get tired, and please, don’t bite anyone”

15.00: “Must remember never to take the toddler to the park when it’s busy. Grand total of three children bitten while she was waiting for her turn on the slide”

16.00: “What the hell shall I cook for dinner tonight? What will everyone eat? Pasta with some sort of sauce again. I knew I should have bought shares in Dolmio. He’s the teenager home from school, slamming the door. Oh, what’s that, you already went to the dodgy chicken place on your way home, so you don’t want any dinner? Sod you then. Maybe I will just order pizza”
17.00: “Thank you, Dominios. Toddler, why aren’t you eating? Oh, I forgot, you won’t eat anything that isn’t a Kinder Egg. I’ll have your share then.”
18.00: “In the bath. Just get in the bath. Toddlers like baths, why don’t you? Yes, here’s the shower head, you can soak me, as long as we get that mud out of your hair”
19.00: “Bedtime for the toddler – hahahaha, just kidding. Thought we’d try though. Having kids is crap, oh look, a beer”
20.00: “I’ve watched Paw Patrol all day and now she’s screaming for Family Guy. I know this makes me a terrible parent, but I’m tired, so here’s Stewie”
21.00: “Come on toddler, lets get into bed. Do you want to sleep in your own bed, or do you want to kick me in the kidneys all night? Silly question, what a daft Mummy I am!”
22.00: “This is getting stupid now. It’s 10pm. Damn that nap”
23.00: “Thank God she’s asleep. Right now, lets get started on the writing, so much work to do
23.01: “zzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
If you would like to find out more about Cookie Kibbles, head over to her blog or follow her on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram.
If you would like to take part in my A Day In The Life Of… Series, drop me an email at Laura@dearbearandbeany.com I would love to have you.

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