When I started my blog just over a year ago I had no idea what I really starting. For me it was a place for me to write everything that was whirling around in mind, a place for me to capture all the moments that I never wanted to forget and a place for me to have something for me.
I quickly found myself in the world of blogging and I would say that 90% of the time its a wonderful place to be. There have been times where I’ve wanted to run away from it and it has felt like I was back in the playground, standing on the edge waiting to see if anyone will ask me to play.
But, its now a place that I can’t imagine not being part of.
One thing that I never really think about is who is reading my blog outside of friends and family. In fact I am so aware that friends and family read my blog, that I had lots of draft posts that I’ve never posted. I’m really lucky that other bloggers come to my blog to read it and that is another great thing about the blogging world, it can be a supportive place. But other than that I don’t really think about people I don’t know and will never know reading it. I know they must because of my page views, I know there aren’t that many bloggers out there!
Then it all changed, I published a post that was very personal to me, a post that took me a lot of courage to press that publish button and a post that I knew would change my life. Sounds a bit dramatic, but stay with me.
The post was this one…Living with Post Natal Depression Behind Closed Doors
It was a post that I needed to write to get it out in the open, to no longer be the elephant in the room, well for me anyway. I’ve worked really hard on my recovery, but without my friends and family knowing about it, I felt it was holding me back to take the next steps.
Did it change my life? Yes, but in ways that I hadn’t considered.
My lovely blogging friend Gemma was probably one of the first people that read it on that Tuesday morning and before I had even had my first coffee of the day, I was tagged in a post on Facebook by her. She had kindly shared my post on her blog, but along with it she had posted a poem that she had been sent by one of her readers about post natal depression. Gemma felt this was the right time to share this poem and it definitely was.
The girl that wrote the poem contacted me and said how moved she was by my post and how brave I was to open up about it. She too was suffering behind closed doors and could relate to my post. I was really touched that my post had meant something to her.
In fact I was contacted by several people over the course of the week, as my post made its way into people’s life through the power of social media. I was overwhelmed that something that I wrote, the words that just poured out of me and onto the screen. Touched people enough that they wanted to contact me.
Then I received a message that brought me to tears. The girl that had wrote the poem and who I had been chatting with, contacted me again to say that because I had been brave to share my battle with post natal depression of so long of keeping it to myself. She had been inspired to do the same and had told her friends and family. She even shared her poem on her own Facebook profile for everyone to see.
I immediately contacted Gemma, because if she hadn’t been so kind to share my post, this girl probably wouldn’t have seen my post, which then led her to take a big step forward in her recovery. She too was in tears over it…
I mean how can something that I wrote inspire someone like that. I know that for a lot of bloggers out there, the posts they write are seen my tens of thousands of people and touch them every day. But, this was the first time for me.
To people that don’t write a blog, it can be hard to get your head around why bloggers do it. Even bloggers question it occasionally. I do it, like must bloggers for the love of writing and for those memories we’ve written about it, to look back on in years to come.
But, now I feel inspired to write more about my post natal depression, to share what my life has been like and what it is like right now living with it. Because if I can help just one person feel better about themselves, or to take a step on their recovery then its worth all the anxiety I feel when I press that publish button.
Blogging is amazing is so many ways, but the power that it has, is something quite special…