I can’t believe a whole decade has ended and a new one begun. I thought it would be fun to look at the last ten years and see what ten changes have happened in my life.
One.
Ten Years ago, 3 weeks before the end of 2009 Andy and I got together. The previous couple of years had not been an easy time for me. I split up from a long term relationship, the break up was horrendous and it left me broken. I had also given up on love and decided I was never going to get my happy ever after, and become a mum. But then Andy walked back into my life, we met years before at work. The rest as they say is history. He was the one I had been waiting for and its true what they say “When you’re not looking for love, it comes and finds you”. We married 10 months later and I got my happy ever after.
Two.
I became a mummy to two gorgeous girls. By far my biggest achievement and I adore them. As I said above, there was a time when I didn’t think it was going to happen for me. Friends were getting married and having babies around me and I was on my own. I seemed to be going to weddings and christening constantly and of course I was happy for everyone. When Alice arrived in 2012 and made me a Mummy, it was amazing. But motherhood is hard work and nothing prepares you for it. When Holly arrived two years later in 2014, my mental health was affected and it took me a while to realise that I was suffering with post natal depression. Something which I then dealt with for a while behind closed doors. This was not the right thing to do and its always better to be open about it. Something I still struggle with now. But I adore being a Mummy to my two girls. They bring me so much love and happiness and being a Mummy to them is everything to me.
Three.
I’ve always liked coffee and hated tea. This comes from when my Mum was pregnant with me. She drinks both tea and coffee, but when she was pregnant with me she went off tea and only drank coffee. The minute I was born, she had a cup of tea! For years and years, I would occasionally have a cup of coffee if I was offered one at someones house. But it wasn’t a drink I ever made myself at home or out. That all changed at some point, and now I am the owner of a coffee machine and have coffee all the time at home. A week doesn’t go by without me heading to a coffee shop, usually to meet someone. When the girls were babies, its where I met up with other mums. Or I would pop in, so I could breastfeed them. Now I couldn’t live without coffee.
Four.
Ten years ago, I lived in a house on my own that I had brought after my previous relationship ended. I stretched myself to be able to afford it and it felt scary. But I’m glad I did it! I wanted to stay on the property ladder and it definitely helped us in the future that I did. Andy quickly moved in, once we got together and six months later we brought a house together. We lived in that house for four years and it was the house that we brought both the girls home from the hospital. Our next house move, probably wasn’t the best move in hindsight. We loved the actual house, but we didn’t consider the biggest picture with kids. The next house move was driven by Alice getting into her wonderful school and we moved to the village to be near the school. It was the best decision we made. We love it here and I definitely think the move helped me with my mental health.
Five.
Ten years ago, saw a big change in my friendships. My close friends decided that I wasn’t going to be part of their life anymore. For reasons that only they know about. It was a difficult time for me, and it affected my confidence and I took it all to heart. I still think about it now from time to time. Luckily I had other wonderful friends, and I wasn’t completely friendless. When I married Andy that brought some wonderful friends into my life, and becoming a Mummy also meant I met new people. Some have become really good friends. When I had post natal depression I lost some friends, because I withdrew myself and they didn’t reach to me. Whilst it was hard for me, it made me realise that the friendships were one sided. The girls starting school has also given me some lovely friends and I’ll always be grateful to them. I may not have loads of friends, but the ones I do have are important to me and I love spending time with them all.
Six.
Since having children, the biggest thing to happen in my life is starting my blog. I initially thought about starting a blog when Alice was born, and I kick myself now for not doing it. Instead I started it when Holly was born. I needed something for me, a place to write all my thoughts down and make my mind tick. I wasn’t going back to work and I get bored quickly! I absolutely love writing my blog. I know that not everyone will understand blogging, its a fairly new concept. But the world of blogging has grown SO much since I started. I love that its all mine, and I can do what I choose. It’s something that I’m proud of and I don’t say that easily. But, don’t ask me to talk about it, because that is still something that I struggle with!!!
Seven.
I had long hair for as long as I could remember. My hair has a big effect on how I feel about myself and I think thats the case for a lot of woman. We have to be happy with our hair! Then a few years ago, I decided to have the chop and I haven’t looked back since. I loved it! I thought it would be harder to style, but its actually easier. A quick blow dry and I’m done in the mornings. I don’t think I will go back to longer hair again.
Eight.
Ten years ago I worked for a large corporate company that I had worked at for over ten years. In 2010 I was made redundant and I was so happy. I had been wanting to leave and waited for redundancies, as they gave good payouts! I then got a new job and started 3 days after Andy and I got married. Two years later I had Alice and I didn’t return after my maternity leave. The job wasn’t practical with a baby. I was then offered a contracting job through a friend, working 3 days a week for six months. The money was really good and with the help of grandparents having Alice I took it. I ended up staying for a year, and I left to have Holly. With two young children it wasn’t financially viable for me to return to work and we decided I would stay home until Alice started school. During this time I started my blog and what I didn’t realise was that people were sometimes paid to write. Over the years this side of blogging has grown a lot. It is now people’s full time jobs and I was lucky enough to be able to make it my job too. For years I worked in the evenings for hours on my blog, while the girls were asleep. Then Alice started school and Holly had a couple of mornings at preschool. This gave me more hours to work on my blog, and I worked hard at it staying up late to meet deadlines. But I was doing it because I loved it and it was supporting our family. My hard work paid off and when Holly started school, I was able to call my blog, my job. I was earning enough money from it and it meant that I could be at home with the girls during the school holidays. Its strange being my own boss, I have to be strict with myself at times and not let house jobs distract me from doing my work. But I am forever grateful for the opportunities that come my way, that allow me to do it.
Nine.
I’ve always loved interiors and doing up rooms. But over the last ten years this has become an even bigger love of mine. I spend hours looking for the right accessory for a room. Coming up with ideas on how I would like a room to look. I’ve also become more patient. I would often like an item, to find it was out of stock and instead of waiting for it to be back in stock I would buy my second choice. And regret it! I would now rather wait for the right item and it be the right one. I’ve been loving making our house a home over the last few years. This year we want to focus on the garden and at the end of the year make some big changes in the lounge.
Ten.
This one is still a work in progress one. Confidence! Ten years ago my confidence levels was not something that I would’ve even thought about, talked about or considered to be a part of who I am. In the last ten years so much has changed in society and confidence is something that is talked about a lot more. Looking back over my life and seeing that my lack of confidence had a massive affect on my life is not only difficult to do. But its also something that I hope my children and all children don’t have to do. I hope that the steps that society has made in recent years, continue and that our children will grow up talking and sharing their experiences more. To be more open about their feelings and to have the courage to be them. To recognise that we’re all different, and that is ok. My own confidence is something that I continue to work on and something that I am more aware of than ever. I hope that in the next ten years I will be writing something very different to now.
