I had dreamt of the day for so long, the day that I would be a mummy, the day that my life would change forever…
The day I found out that I was expecting a baby, will stay with me forever, it was a Saturday morning and I could not contain my excitement when the words ‘pregnant’ appeared. From that day I did everything I could to keep my baby safe and my little one was always in my thoughts…
It was a bit overwhelming, should I eat this? will this hurt the baby? everyday things that I normally would just get on with, stopped me in my tracks and made me question it first. I brought some books and was constantly on the internet finding out the answers to all these questions that I had, all day, every day!
Then the morning sickness arrived, well actually all day and night sickness…I wrote about this on my blog, you can read it here.
The day of the scan, where we could find out if it was going to be blue or pink, was so exciting. Now, I am the type of person that if there is information to know about, then I want to know, regardless of the situation. Why would I wait? How can I be organised if I wait? for someone that loves to be organised this was not even something that was up for debate. I would find out what we were having. Luckily, Andy was totally with me on this and it was not a discussion we really need to have… phew!
Ok, I think it’s alright for me to say this out loud now? I secretly wanted a girl, I always dreamt of having a girl…but, I did the usual ‘I really don’t mind what it is’, but that was really just for me, to prepare myself in case it was a boy. I practically convinced myself it was a boy, I didn’t dare think it was a girl! Of course, if I had been blessed with a boy, I would have been overjoyed. Having now had a baby, I now know that it really doesn’t matter if it’s pink tor blue…the love you feel for this little bundle that you have created, is like no other love.
Anyway back to the scan, I am led on the bed, all the checks are being done and then finally the question ‘would you like to know what you are having?’ Yes, I practically scream at the lady and then I hear the words ‘It’s a girl’ and my heart melts. I would have a daughter…
After my sickness left me, I had a few months of enjoying my pregnancy, watching my bump grow was amazing and I just wanted it be big enough so that I looked pregnant, how naive was I! Because when it’s big, it’s uncomfortable and everything is harder to do.
Then I suffered from pelvic pain (symphysis pubis dysfunction), I couldn’t walk for long periods, going up stairs was painful and getting in and out of cars was a challenge!
But, even with all the horrible sickness and the pelvic pain, all I could think about was holding my baby girl in my arms…that was what got me through it, it would all be worth it…I would be a mummy and I couldn’t wait!
Everything I read about first time pregnancies, was that they tend to be late…so when I woke up one Saturday morning, two weeks before my due date, feeling strange and wondering what was happening I didn’t think it was labour starting. But, I was wrong, my baby girl was on her way…
I was in early labour all day Saturday, we went for a lot of walks to try and speed things along, but she was taking her time to make an appearance. That night, I was getting a bit worried that everything was ok, the midwife was lovely and told me if I wanted to come and be checked over to come in, so that’s what we did. She confirmed I was in early labour, but still had a way to go and so, we went back home.
I spent all day Sunday in a labour and that evening I was bouncing on my ball, watching the closing ceremony of the London Olympics. During the night I was worried that because things had been going on for so long, was my baby girl ok? So, again we had a trip to the hospital in the middle of the night and saw the same midwife. She checked me over and I heard the heartbeat which was amazingly reassuring and we were sent back home again!
Monday was spent watching DVDs, walks and baths…then not long after we had dinner and I was stood up, leaning on the back of a chair, I heard a pop and water was running down my leg. I immediately shouted ‘get me of the rug’…even in the middle of labour, I think about the mess!! Andy phoned up the hospital and they were asking him lots of questions and all I would say was ‘I am going to hospital now’, the pain went through the roof when my waters broke. So, we headed to the hospital, I can’t really remember the journey, I zoned out!
We were back in the pre-delivery room for the third time, the midwife sent Andy off to move the car and get my hospital bag…this time we were staying! I could then hear the midwifes talking outside…he isn’t back yet, I think he might miss it!!
My baby girl was ready to come out and there was no time to move me to the delivery suite and there was no sign of Andy!! The midwifes were bringing everything they needed from the delivery suite into the room and we were ready to start pushing…where was Andy??
At that moment, he arrived and started to tell us about the problems going on in the car park…he was completely oblivious to the fact that we were about to be parents! There was no time for any drugs or even gas and air, I pushed my baby girl out on a paracetamol that I had 4 hours ago!!
The moment that she was put in my arms…the arms that were always meant to hold her, the arms that had been longing to hold her for so long, the arms that would protect her…it hit be that I was a mummy.
We named you Alice…