When I became pregnant with Alice, I didn’t really think about life beyond giving birth to my baby. We went to the NCT classes and learnt what we thought was everything we needed to know and thought that was it. How wrong were we? NCT doesn’t even come close to preparing you for giving birth or becoming a parent. It was a sharp shock when Alice arrived and I had to learn a lot!
I’ve put together a list of things to consider when you become a new Mum, which will hopefully help you prepare yourself.
- You know your baby the best. If there is one thing that will make your life a lot easier, its to quickly trust your gut instinct. You will get given a lot of advice from people you know, strangers you meet at the park etc and family members. They will often all tell you something different, because there is not just one answer to anything. Every baby is different and what worked for one, may not work for another. Even if they are siblings! Listen to their advice, take it on board and then apply it to your baby and their needs.
- You don’t need every baby gadget there is on the market. Unfortunately a lot of companies prey on new parents and sell their products as something all new parents need. It can make you feel like a bad parent, if you don’t have a nappy bin for example! (you definitely don’t ever need a nappy bin, a normal bin does the same job!!). The amount of parents I’ve seen buying lots of stuff to then only sell it on Facebook with a note saying, not used or hardly used. Having a baby is an expensive time, but it doesn’t have to be as expensive as some people make it.
- Accepting help. This is something that I’ve never been any good at, and I’m still not any good at it. But, its something that you should think about before (or after) you become a mum. Try to put those feelings of uncomfortableness to one side. I felt like if I asked for help it showed I was failing at a mum, that I couldn’t cope. When actually that isn’t true. Having a baby is hard work, they don’t sleep, they need constant attention and we all need a break.
- Take a look at your finances and make sure you have done what you need and can do, to make it through maternity leave. You will see a lot of mums in coffee shops, but its just as nice to invite mum friends over to your house for a coffee and cheaper. We used to rotate it around our group. Take a look at your life insurance and make sure you’re on the right plan. You could also save by switching life insurance plan.
You may also look at your mortgage repayments to see if you could save some money there too. Here’s a handy mortgage loan calculator that will help work out if you could afford to reduce your payments slightly.
- Enjoy it! I know you will hear this a millions times, but the years really do flyby. Those nights where you are stuck in their bedroom, not able to leave and you’re exhausted and just want a break. It won’t be forever, even though it feels like it at that moment. Take a different look at the situation and it will honestly make you feel better. It won’t be long until they are heading to school and no longer want to hold your hand as you walk along the road. Enjoy those early years, they really are precious and they do go by far too quickly.
- Your mental health. You may think it will never happen to you, you’ve always been in control of your mental health. But it can happen to anyone. It happened to me and I denied it for so long, that when I finally asked for help I had a long journey to get me back to feeling myself again. Its ok, to not be ok.
Becoming a parent is one of the best things that ever happened to me. It has made me a better person and I now know who I am. I wouldn’t change a single thing and yes it is a rollercoaster at times and you can feel like your head is going to explode. But it is always worth it!
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.
